A Defining Moment….

Age 16In each of our lives, we have a point in life which we stand in a pivot of time, a pause where ‘what is’ and ‘what will be’ is determined in this moment.  For me, this was when I was 17 years old.  I made a very distinct decision to stay on this planet.  With all of my suffering I endured, I believe the tree people are what kept me here.  I loved trees.  I simply could not leave them.  They were my connection on earth.  I will never forget that moment.  I vowed that I would do whatever it took to stop the cycle of abuse in my family.  And over the next 28 years I have made every attempt to find my way.  It seems that the road blocks were endless.  For every mountain I climbed, I’d fall down.  When does this get easier?  Yes, there are moments where the windows are wide open and the fresh air comes in.  What a relief those moments are!  However, they just never felt like I was getting anywhere.  Where is it that I am trying to get?  What am I avoiding?  How do I find something that I don’t know the map to.  This road map that I am doing is really the simplest one.  “What would someone do if they loved themselves?”  Finding self love is the ONLY work I am here to do.  Whew…what a relief!  Because nothing else seems to be working.

I have made a choice and this life is mine to make.  I call that a miracle.  For everyone that knows my history and my family, they have all been amazed that I have made it as far as I have. (And I really mean that).  The darkness and disconnect I have walked, I am forever grateful to be here and ready to get up and try again.  I get to watch my children grow and I get to change the generational DNA of my family heritage and the lives of my boys have parenting that heals and loves and thrives.  I am learning day by day.  June 2nd was my first day of a 6 week course in parenting (Behavioral Emotional Understanding with Hand and Hand Parenting, Patty Wipfler is the founder of this program and I am so excited to learn from such a genuine and graceful person).  I get to learn the RIGHT way to parent to create a healthy family and to learn how to keep myself from all the triggers that suck me in and keep me from loving and living and enjoying.  I get to find what real love is.  Something I never had growing up.  I call that grace.

What was a defining moment you had in your life?  Share in the comments something that really changed the direction of your life.

Gentle Giants- Mount Baker, Washington

Gentle Giants- Mount Baker, Washington

Copyright © June 2013  All Rights Reserved.

8 thoughts on “A Defining Moment….

  1. I’ve always been blessed with self-love… Was pretty much surrounded by it with others while growing up. And while I’ve had a number of “defining moments” in my life, the one that relates, specifically, to your question, was when working with my first Life Coach, Jane Miner, eight years ago – I came to the realization that I was intended to use my personal gifts to help others find and embrace their authentic selves. I am measurably indebted to Jane for her guidance and collaborative support.

  2. Deeply inspiring Shakti, thank you so much for sharing. You should be infinitely proud of yourself. And may the entire universe bless you and your family always 🙂 x

  3. My mother died when I was three. I remember the moment clearly. I felt the connection with her sever as I sat in my high chair in my Aunt Goldie’s kitchen. She answered the phone, then tilted her head back and screamed. I knew in that moment that my mother was gone and that I was essentially alone.

  4. Saralee, I am still sitting with your post. During my post partum depression with Gus, this was a big fear I had. I am sorry to see that you had to endure such abandonment. After that happened, who became the person you remained the most connected to? Have you found your mother to be deep inside you as you grew up? Could you feel her presence? Thank you for sharing something so personal. It really touched me.

  5. Thank you. I”m having a fabulous day. Yesterday (or last night was quite transforming). I work quickly when I’m ready. 🙂 Magic is definitely happening in my life.

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