Being Brave

esteem

Being brave, it’s never the same way twice.  Once we try it, one might think that we know how to be strong and resilient in the world.  It’s just not something we are taught.  I believe it’s something that comes through us as long as we feel a sense of commitment in the world.  I don’t know how many times I have heard from people, “you are the strongest person I know”.  I have never known what to do with that comment.  I can’t say I feel strong, but then I think what is it that I must be doing.  The only thing I can think of is, I am showing up.  I am not giving up.  Loving oneself or working it out so to speak as in this challenge, completely sets you up to make that commitment.  Today, I was brave.
I had to read a booklet for my parenting class and I knew I was resisting it.  I was avoiding it to be truthful.  Because I really have no way around this, I just had to buck up and read it.  As I read it, I could feel my emotional world come throwing it’s own fit.  All along, I just kept asking the question “What would someone who loved themselves do?”  I kept hearing be brave.  What does bravery feel like I thought?  I read the whole thing and afterwards, I felt like if I didn’t work out my emotions on this I was going to throw up.  It was that intense for me.  Teal Scott has a remarkable process from one of her videos “how to express emotions”, ( watch here  )that I walked myself through.  Starting with the anger, then the sadness, then the fear, then the forgiveness and up through the love.  I made it!  That was a miracle in itself!  OMG, that was so hard.  And then I cried the biggest cry ever.  I didn’t hold anything back.  To me, THAT was being brave.  Allowing myself to FEEL the release coming out.  I literally felt like I squeezed every drop of the “poison” out of me.  I got so clear from those questions and I literally felt the life sentence it created in me. 40 years I have been carrying around this piece that came out.  40 years of pain.  I not only cleared it in me, but I unhooked what was underlying it all.  Once I got through the rawness of it all and through the “what just happened” piece, I actually felt like I was seeing the world in a brighter and lighter place.  I saw foods and colors and flowers and anything that I came by with more tenderness and more peace.  What a gift and what relief.

I am honored to share this with you.

Copyright © June 2013  All Rights Reserved.

8 thoughts on “Being Brave

  1. Bootzmrp- you know the booklet I had to read was on tantrums and indignation. It was so all about my relationship with my sister growing up. I wrote some powerful stuff after reading that booklet. It was really intense, but I got the seed hook in me looked at and that was powerful. I had so much relief, there are no words.

  2. Not that hard? LOL …:) Yes, it is getting easier. That was last week. I have allowed myself a few more related ones since. Hence why I am running a mile from my emotions. lol

  3. Wow, that’s so heartfelt, huge thank you for sharing this with us. “Allowing myself to FEEL the release coming out.” – i really admire your perspective. At the moment i’m experiencing lots of bad dreams (release of fears?), headaches and the return of situations that i’ve tried to avoid for many years which are ‘rising’ to the surface. Its pretty intense. But i do know that after this release there will be much cleansing and freedom to look forward to. Much like what you’re experiencing now 🙂 I am so happy for you Shakti, you should be so proud of your courage!! 🙂 xx

  4. I have spent so many years running from my fears. Running in a trapped cage. Trying to bolt. Trying to not look. Avoiding what I think is going to “get” me. Having children has changed some of it, because clearly I can do “harder”. The year of my first son was probably the hardest year of my life. I was thrown into the flames. What I’m seeing is as I learn a strategy to go through the emotions (I think I’ll post a blog on this topic), I am seeing the relief that comes with it. The more I practice it in small bites, the more relief I get. The desire to have that relief is starting to percolate where I want more and more of it. I can literally see just how much I’ve been holding it all in trying to “keep it together”. What a lot of energy to do that. It doesn’t allow me to use my energy anywhere else. I’m so grateful to see the possibilities coming. I’m so tired of running away and running from myself. I can’t do it anymore. I just can’t.

  5. Well hopefully I am setting it up with lots of support. The BEU course is helping me create that. It takes time. I guess I should just relax into that knowing I have plenty of it.

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