Being brave, it’s never the same way twice. Once we try it, one might think that we know how to be strong and resilient in the world. It’s just not something we are taught. I believe it’s something that comes through us as long as we feel a sense of commitment in the world. I don’t know how many times I have heard from people, “you are the strongest person I know”. I have never known what to do with that comment. I can’t say I feel strong, but then I think what is it that I must be doing. The only thing I can think of is, I am showing up. I am not giving up. Loving oneself or working it out so to speak as in this challenge, completely sets you up to make that commitment. Today, I was brave.
I had to read a booklet for my parenting class and I knew I was resisting it. I was avoiding it to be truthful. Because I really have no way around this, I just had to buck up and read it. As I read it, I could feel my emotional world come throwing it’s own fit. All along, I just kept asking the question “What would someone who loved themselves do?” I kept hearing be brave. What does bravery feel like I thought? I read the whole thing and afterwards, I felt like if I didn’t work out my emotions on this I was going to throw up. It was that intense for me. Teal Scott has a remarkable process from one of her videos “how to express emotions”, ( watch here )that I walked myself through. Starting with the anger, then the sadness, then the fear, then the forgiveness and up through the love. I made it! That was a miracle in itself! OMG, that was so hard. And then I cried the biggest cry ever. I didn’t hold anything back. To me, THAT was being brave. Allowing myself to FEEL the release coming out. I literally felt like I squeezed every drop of the “poison” out of me. I got so clear from those questions and I literally felt the life sentence it created in me. 40 years I have been carrying around this piece that came out. 40 years of pain. I not only cleared it in me, but I unhooked what was underlying it all. Once I got through the rawness of it all and through the “what just happened” piece, I actually felt like I was seeing the world in a brighter and lighter place. I saw foods and colors and flowers and anything that I came by with more tenderness and more peace. What a gift and what relief.
I am honored to share this with you.
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