An Eye for an I………It’s all in the mind. Part 2


Are you currently living with physical pain?  Do you suffer from chronic pain?  Have you ever asked “What the positive intention is” of your physical pain?

If you have’t, get out some paper right now and begin asking.  You will find that your pain is serving you in some manner.  And it’s always coming from a positive intention.  You may be surprised by the answers.

Living with pain is very common in our culture.  The pharmaceutical companies promote it, our society believes it and further more we accept it.

“Don’t believe what everyone thinks”!

Take charge of your life.  What would someone who loves themselves do?   Do NOT identify yourself with the pain.  You can live a joyful life separate from the physical pain.  Learn to become detached from it.  Be the observer.  Letting it consume you will only cause more.  In fact, all the negative feelings that come with “what’s wrong with me?” creates a downward spiral.   You may even ask if the quality of your  life is worth living.

When I was 21 years old, I was planning on graduating from college.  I suspect the thoughts of moving forward into the unkown life was part of the karmic moment.  Or perhaps it was the all pervasive suffering that I only knew.  I had just ended a relationship (an unhealthy one to boot) with a guy on Valentine’s day (to make it mean something I’m sure) and I ended up in a car accident that night.  I didn’t want to go home because he was not letting me go so easily.  I ended up  skidding on black ice and spinning my car across the windy roads of New Hampshire, and I hit the guard rail.  It’s too bad I didn’t have a seat belt on.  I think it would have prevented many problems.

I ended up with a stress fracture on my tail bone (along with a concussion).  I had a very long recovery.  I had to say good bye to my love for dance, my love for ice skating, my love for the active healthy lifestyle I enjoyed.  This was a turning point in my life, one that I have never accepted.  However it was one that gave me a profound lesson in life.

It was a long 2 years.  I went down a very deep hole.  I lived with chronic back pain.  I was taking 16 advil a day for a year.  Sitting was very painful, especially since I was finishing up my college classes to graduate.

I started swim therapy about 6 months down the road.  After a year, I visited a psychiatrist to perscribe small doses of anti depressents to act as pain killers (so he said).  After that year, I began getting sciatica pain daily making it much harder to believe I’d get better.  I went and visited a chiropractor for the first time in my life.  He did some weird bone cracking back thing that killed.  And then the words, “Oh crap, that wasn’t supposed to have happened came out of his mouth”, leaving me with yet again, another length of chronic pain.

What came to my mind all the time was “What’s wrong with me?”  I spent months going to different therapies, of which none helped.  I began to have a lot of negative thoughts and I continued to get weaker and weaker.  I now had been using a cane and my left leg was so weak I couldn’t walk on it.

At about 1 1/2 years later, I finally went to the Layhee clinic in Boston for a myelogram.  This is a procedure where they inject a dye in your spine and see the contrast if there’s anything going on.  I was scared and had a dream the night before of what the room and the contraption they put you in looked like.  Of course the next day when I went to the clinic, the room was the same as it appeared in my dream.  I must have traveled out of body.

I finally had a visit with the doctor.  He had the worst bed side manners I had ever known.  However, I will never forget what he said.  He told me, “There’s nothing wrong with you.  It’s all in your head.”   Ordinarily, I would have been furious with that kind of comment, but  it was exactly what I needed.  Shocked by his words, I decided in that moment if that was the truth, I would get well.

And from that moment on I healed.  It took time to build my strength back but by the time I was 23, I was pain free.  It took about 6 months.  I never went back to the life I had and I grieve that to this day.  But I learned a valuable lesson about the power of the mind.

It’s a choice we have.  What we choose, what we commit to 100% ALL IN, is what we create.

4 years later, I had another car accident.  It wasn’t as dramatic, but I still was injured and needed medical help.  The thing was, if felt like dejavu.  However, I made different choices.  I chose alternative doctors to heal.  For all of it.  I recovered in 8 months.  Never for a moment did I question it.  This one affected my neck mostly and I had a lot of “pain in my neck”.  A strong message as a metaphor for sure.  Walking to yoga one day, I realized I was not my body and didn’t need to attach myself to that pain.  It was such an epiphany.

We get to choose.  What is the positive intention for our pain? (I repeat this, so you really get it)  Why have you chosen pain?

Spontaneous healing occurs the minute you make this choice.  The decision to take 100% responsibility and own it.  Transforms EVERYTHING.  You are not your pain.  Your choices about what you believe have created the pain.

How do you want to live?  Have you had enough?  Do you need to hear “It’s all in your head, there’s nothing wrong with you?” or Can you find your answers within yourself?

It’s time to free yourself.  Your cells in your body change every 7 days.  You continuosly change.  Nothing is permanent accept impermanence.  Your habits perpetuate what you think you are.

What do you want to become?  Magic is the illusion of what is real and not real.  Make your own miracle today.  Make a choice and commit to it 100%.  It will change your life forever.

This is your turning point, step out and claim it.


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