The Mastery of Love….an interview with Don Miguel Ruiz


by Diane M. Cooper

Here is just one part of this beautiful interview.  His words ring so true with me that writing my own version of this just doesn’t do it justice.  You can view the whole interview here.  I am excited to read this book.  I haven’t heard of it until today.  

I picked up another one of his books, The Circle of Fire the other day and have found it to be very healing.  He has given me permission to renounce and start anew everyday as if it like the movie Ground Hog Day with Bill Murray.  To be able to understand how to love from a belief that I create is something I am so ready and eager to do.  I feel it in my bones that I am stepping onto another platform.  I’m taking the leap and I am in between and I haven’t landed my feet yet.  BUT I know there is a ground for me to land on and I’m very excited as it is just around the corner.  For now, enjoy his message and if you are ready to take a leap with me, find time to read his book.  It most likely is calling you and saying you are ready to make a change, a change in your view, your beliefs and to write a new love story for yourself.  One that says yes, I do.  


Mastery of Love

Diane: In The Mastery of Love you speak of Awareness as one of the three fundamental masteries that can guide us to our true nature. You say this mastery teaches us to be aware of what we really are. What do you mean by ”what we really are.”

Don Miguel: Most people think they know what they are. We say, I am a human, I am a man or a woman, and we describe all these characteristics based on our beliefs. 

But what has happened is that when we are babies, before knowledge — before we ”know” — everyone tells us what we are. Our mother tells us what we are, and because we are innocent we agree and believe. But what our mother tells us is what she believes about us. And our father projects another image to us, and again we agree. Our brothers, our sisters, the television, all tell us what we are, and we agree. And not just that. They also tell us what we should be but are not. And we believe that also.

We try so hard to become what they want us to be and we practice and practice and practice because we are so afraid of not being good enough for someone else. We are so afraid to be rejected, we are so afraid that they won’t like what we do, the way we dress, the way we talk, the way we eat, what we believe. We try so hard to be somebody that will be accepted wherever we go and finally we try to be accepted by ourselves. We create an image of perfection — a picture of what we believe we should be — but we know we are not that image.

We try so hard to do whatever we can to clear the voice of our internal judge — we try to be perfect for our husband or for our wife, for the teacher, the guru, the religion, knowing that it is not possible. We all are taught to say, ”We are human, and we are not perfect. No one is perfect.”

We are perfect, but we don’t see that. We are not aware of what we really are because our attention is so focused on what we are trying to be.

We hear people say, ”Oh I’m so afraid that the real me will come someday and will destroy everything.” You know, in a way this is true. If the real ”us” comes out, it will destroy all those lies we’ve believed.

When we have the awareness that we are not what we think — this is the first step to recovering what we truly are. And of course practice makes the Master. If we practice, it becomes a way of life. It becomes a habit to always be what we are and not what we want to be — to hear what people really say, not what we want to hear. If we practice, in a short time we will perceive a completely different world — the world as it is, not the way we want or need it to be to satisfy others’ points of view or to satisfy our own lies. If we are what we really are, we don’t have to justify our existence anymore. We don’t need to be ashamed that we are not what they want us to be. Our whole attitude changes.

When we know who we are, we will no longer live our lives in conflict with our parents, our beloved, or our children. Everything becomes so wonderful, because we are no longer afraid to Love. And that is the most precious thing that can happen to anyone — the return to Love. Because when we return to Love, life becomes so wonderful and so beautiful. Everything is so romantic! And we see everything through the eyes of Love. We become so relaxed. And we are no longer afraid to express who we really are and what we want to say. We no longer say yes when we want to say no. We live our lives with integrity again, because we are no longer afraid to be rejected. We don’t need anyone. It’s a wonderful way to live. It will improve every relationship that we have, beginning with the relationship with ourselves.

Then, a romantic relationship becomes a wonderful thing because we are not afraid to be ourselves and ask for what we want. We no longer take anything personally. We no longer have the need to control our beloved or be controlled by them. And we become a teammate — not competing with each other. It is completely different.


4 thoughts on “The Mastery of Love….an interview with Don Miguel Ruiz

  1. Ahhhhh what conviction, what power, and above all what love you convey in these words!!!! You inspire me to live Free from all things that would say otherwise. For that, I am most grateful my sister 🙂
    Even though Don Miguel spoke more in this interview (as it should be 🙂 ). Because as you put it in your bio—-“I am here representing all of you and my spirit is guiding me to offer a look at what living fully embraces”—by extension I hear your Spirit and it is the Selfsame!!!

    Mille grazie (thanks a million in Italian),

  2. It’s so wonderful you found me here. 🙂 I am glad this resonates with you as much as it did for me. It’s so palpable that I can feel change in the air just like one can feel snow in the air. I painted a picture today and titled it “Walking into Love” and I wrote my love story to go with it. I was surprised at how much of my story used the word joy. I have the map. I am in the drivers seat. NOW I must drive. I must make every effort on my behalf to get to my destination and that means I have to take action and not just sit in the car not moving. I have to really accept this view because I just know that Great Spirit is telling me to drive! BUT IT’S SO INTENSE!!! LOL It’s like when I’m by myself, great I feel good I feel wonderful and I can do it, and then I spend 5 min with my husband or son and I lose all of it and plummet to negativity so quickly. Then I say, LOOK at what I JUST DID! Why? Why do I do that? I have the map…so we start again. And whammo! I drop again. I watched this ALL day long. It’s like my vibration is too low for this shit and I have to inch my way up to it so I can sustain it rather than start really high and crash down. I don’t know. I’m working out the kinks. I have LOTS of self forgiveness today. Teal’s video today has me really questioning all sorts of things, and then I read a prayer in the Circle of Fire and I see I have another choice. His prayer for Humanity is AMAZING. He talks about us as Angels and how we are all messengers and what we have to remember. It’s really beautiful. Thank you Simon for reaching out today. I’m tempted to post your poem on my blog too it’s so beautiful!


  3. You share a lot there that I can greatly identify with, namely the necessity of self-forgiveness as it relates to walking into Love, our Home. The highs are great when you’re in it and then you fall back down into self-doubt, fear, etc. I totally get that and it’s very encouraging to know I am not alone in this (encouraging not that you get low like me but that we are both endeavoring toward owning our Self, that Love, through and through). I could go on some more but I do need to study for an exam tomorrow!
    I’m really glad my poem impacted you the way it did. I appreciate that and by all means, feel free to use my poem. I write my poetry not just for myself but for all who would enjoy or gain something from it. Obviously, I know you’ll attach my name to it (Simon Blecher is fine).


  4. Funny I got a flat tire today and I thought about what I wrote about driving and not just sitting there. The lows aren’t a low. It’s “I get angry because it’s become such a habit and a coping” so instead of choosing something of a positive nature, I quickly short circuit and go to the negative side so easily. sigh….Although today I really made an effort. 🙂


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