Dancing the dance.

jocelyn rs

 

Brene Brown’s e-course has been really tough for me.  I feel like I have dropped into some deep deep hooks that are suffocating me and confusing me.  I can only assume this must be expansion because as my husband stated tonight, my questions are different.

I STILL feel like I am looking from the outside in, tapping on the glass and saying how do I get inside?  I have cried a lot this week as well.  I want to believe I am purifying something, but I can not say that.  I do not know.  I only know that I am not enjoying this process much.  I know that asking “What would someone who loves themselves do?”  is very faint and weak right now.  Which is why I believe I must be close if not inside some very deep hooks.

The book Circle of Fire is also being a great resource to keep me afloat too.  I however am SEEING just how much I do NOT love myself, honor myself, and respect myself.  I am afraid to say that it is only now with this course on The Gifts of Imperfection that I am realizing that all the definitions and desires for living a whole-hearted life means a lot of bullshit for me to still overcome.

I may be being a bit hard on myself.  I however, have been very open and honest about a lot of things these last 2 weeks.  With my husband, with myself and with the direction I want to go.  I can see living authentically is a practice.  It is not something that you wake up one day and say, “Here I am!”  I can really see the baby steps and I really believe at this point it is going to be about Self Discovery.

That being said, that’s about as much as I can share right now.  I will update my 6 month challenge on November 5th.  My half way point!  I can say that there will no doubt be a transformation based on this class itself.

3 thoughts on “Dancing the dance.

  1. It is Oct 6 in Australia, so it must be Oct 5 in the US? 🙂 If so, congratulations on your 6 months of magic dear Shakti! 🙂 You are inspiring!! xx

  2. Huh! NO it’s NOVEMBER 5th. 🙂 Yes, I have a post I have been trying to get out for days. Getting time to write is impossible for me lately. This is the busiest time of year at school for my oldest son and our family. I am also really keeping low key during this course with Brene Brown because it has brought up so much stuff. You will see my update shortly…PROMISE!

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