Brene Brown’s e-course has been really tough for me. I feel like I have dropped into some deep deep hooks that are suffocating me and confusing me. I can only assume this must be expansion because as my husband stated tonight, my questions are different.
I STILL feel like I am looking from the outside in, tapping on the glass and saying how do I get inside? I have cried a lot this week as well. I want to believe I am purifying something, but I can not say that. I do not know. I only know that I am not enjoying this process much. I know that asking “What would someone who loves themselves do?” is very faint and weak right now. Which is why I believe I must be close if not inside some very deep hooks.
The book Circle of Fire is also being a great resource to keep me afloat too. I however am SEEING just how much I do NOT love myself, honor myself, and respect myself. I am afraid to say that it is only now with this course on The Gifts of Imperfection that I am realizing that all the definitions and desires for living a whole-hearted life means a lot of bullshit for me to still overcome.
I may be being a bit hard on myself. I however, have been very open and honest about a lot of things these last 2 weeks. With my husband, with myself and with the direction I want to go. I can see living authentically is a practice. It is not something that you wake up one day and say, “Here I am!” I can really see the baby steps and I really believe at this point it is going to be about Self Discovery.
That being said, that’s about as much as I can share right now. I will update my 6 month challenge on November 5th. My half way point! I can say that there will no doubt be a transformation based on this class itself.