Tag Archive | emotions

What are you Craving? 5 simple ways to bring balance over the holidays.

 

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“Balance, my darling, is not letting anybody love you less than you love yourself.”

~Elizabeth Gilbert~

This is the time of year where we find ourselves believing we are “supposed to do” for our family, for our friends, for our kids, for our tradition.

What happens when you burn out?  Then what?  Are you overeating sugar? Are you numbing out on the computer or TV?  Or are you just craving something that you can’t put your finger on.

Balance is so important, but for some it becomes another “To Do” on your list of plenty.

So how do you fight the overdoing?  How do you stop and think?  How do you say, “My needs matter? And actually follow through with self-care?”

5 Simple things to knock the cravings down and find joy in your holiday tote.

1) Listen to music that relaxes you.  Subconsciously your body slows down and takes its cues from the environment.

2) Get enough sleep.  Easier said than done.  I am notorious for NOT following this rule.  I am trying though.

3) Avoid eating unnecessary sugar.  It will bring mood swings, keep you up at night, make you feel good only temporarily, put on the holiday pounds.  Instead, ask yourself “what am I craving?”  Listen to what your intuition tells you.  It might surprise you.  It may have nothing to do with food.  It may be craving self-care like a nap or drinking more water.  It may be saying to slow down and breathe.  You won’t know unless you ask.

4)  Say no more often.  Avoid the obligations.  Ask yourself if it brings you joy.  If it doesn’t, then saying no is ok.  Keep your life more simple at this time of the year.  Speeding things up and taking on more only makes you feel less joy.  Look to see what the essence of the holidays brings for you and then declare it.  Is it peace?  Is it joy?  Is it warmth and coziness?  Whatever you’re craving, it will come to you easier when you declare it.

5)  Remember to eat.  Skipping meals because you have so much on your plate starts the train wreck and ends with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.  Or worse, knocking your immune system down and you get run down and begin to feel a cold coming on.  Keep your water intake up, keep your food intake going and you may notice you are looking less for the afternoon pickup and smiling more.

Whatever you find that you are craving, be willing to ask yourself questions.  Blindly running on empty is setting you up for a fall.  This is a special time of year. Give yourself a hug, drink some tea and simplify your day.

Remember no is a complete sentence.

Have a great week.

Love, Shakti xxoo

Emotional Freedom, does it exist? 10 tricks and tips to dig yourself out of that hole.

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“Life does not play tricks on you.  Your mind does.”

Iyanla Vanzant

 

Only when we know better, do we do better.  Does emotional freedom exist?  Do you believe that your mind is separate from who you really are?  Or do you believe that you are your mind?  These are pivotal life changing questions to be asking yourself.  If life follows you and your words (and even your thoughts), then perhaps being in the driver’s seat matters.

Where do we begin?  Someday’s sitting with your thoughts and your mind becomes toxic in and of itself.  We rely on our mind.  We believe our thoughts and we often get carried away far too much on a daily basis.  How is it then that we unhook our thoughts?  Here are a 10 techniques that will help.

1) Investigate…take a look at your thought.  Is it true?  Is it really really true?  How do you know it’s true?  Where in your life can you say it’s true and not true.  Look, really look to see how it’s not true.  Even if it’s one example, because if there’s one, there will be more to follow.

2) Look at the belief.  Ask yourself, “Who told me this about myself?”  Was it a parent, a teacher, a sibling, society, or yourself?  When you see who put that belief in you perhaps it isn’t yours.  Let it go.

3) Pema Chodron once said, “Don’t believe everything you think.”  Give it a go and see what happens next.

4) Life is our friend.  Choose to see it that way.  Make the intention that the universe if for you, not against you.  And when that happens, you can say yes more.  Words/thoughts are powerful and if you choose the negative ones, you get to witness them all day long.  What is the positive intention in your suffering?  What is the positive intention in your negative thoughts.  Ask them and they will answer you.

5) Love what arises.  Make friends with all your thoughts.  Embrace them with 100% enthusiasm, no matter how sarcastic or sadistic they are.  Commit 100% for rejoicing in who that voice is and see what happens next.  When you offer love, the outcome has only one way to go.

6) Our external world appears in form.  Forms appear as objects that we own or don’t own.  We can take them or leave them, but we identify with them outside of ourselves as something that we acquire.  Our thoughts are forms as well, but we don’t realize it.  We can choose to own them or not.  We can choose to leave them behind or not.  When we see that our emotional life is no different from the physical life, freedom awaits.  Learn to surrender your thoughts.  Ego creates your suffering but your spiritual self knows really who you are.  Listen to that voice instead.

7) Learn techniques to assist in reprogramming your mind.

  •  Meditation for some, is really helpful in this. There are a variety of different ways of learning. Just start.

  • EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a tapping of meridian points that liberates our well-being in profound ways and works really well.

  •  EMDR is another kind of re patterning of the brain (neural pathways).  If you have built-in wiring from childhood traumas, this is a technique that will create a new matrix of thought forms and give emotional freedom.

8) Drop into prayer.  Simple prayers are very affective.  Here are a few to try out.

  • Help me loving universe.  Help me to surrender my thoughts that I feel out of control with.

  • Please heal my perspective of ______.  Thank you.

  • Please uplift my spirit and bring joyful expression in my words and thoughts today.

  • Help me release my sadness or grief or fears today so I may live in divine love and divine grace.  

  • How may I be of service today.  Help me help others.

9) Fear knocked at the door, Faith Answered, no one was there.  Build up your faith muscles.  Start small and go from there.  Take windows of your day to practice this.  Each mini success you have, it will build on the bigger picture of your life.

10) Begin to allow yourself to have new thoughts.  Create an allowing journal.  Allow yourself to love.  Allow yourself to be gentle and soft with yourself.  Allow yourself to ask for help.  Allow yourself to allow.  Spend 10 minutes in your journal writing all the things you will allow in your life today.

MAKE a Choice today.  Do you want to join the “Chain of well- being” or do you want to remain in the “Chain of pain”?

You may think you are the only one suffering when you choose to live in the chain of pain, but it isn’t true.  The interdependence follows you.  All those around you can be sucked into your world or you can uplift them around you and “entrain” them into your “Chain of well-being” and see how humanity shifts as you make your personal choices.  I didn’t say it would be easy, but then again that is another choice, isn’t it?

Whatever comes after the words “I AM”…..follows you.  Not only does it follow you but it expands and grows.  How do you choose to expand and grow today?

Have a great day! Love Shakti

Claiming Love

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“Because THAT is what someone who loves themself does!”

 

The last month for me has had so many things I wanted to share, but everything is accelerating for me that I have literally not had any time to share!  It has been a bit frustrating, but I am here now.  Currently, I feel as if my life is undergoing a major transformation.  I feel these large invisible hands living outside my home and rearranging everything so my life works the way I am asking for it.

We are currently at the tail end of spring break (my son has 2 weeks in April off) so that has also made my time limited here.

To sum up the last few weeks….

As I walked into some really big purposes that you will find out shortly, I have never felt so complete and deeply purposeful.  AT the same time, my personal life definitely felt like my soul was dying, and then I launched my artist website the day after.  The night of a very emotional morning, we had a visiting Tibetan Doctor (Paltul Rinpoche) and I was in the hot seat for my time with him.  I would not call it a “lecture” but it was.  He reminded me how loving kindness is the most important thing.  He reminded me about patience, tolerance and   having my mind in check when it comes to my anger.  It was not easy to listen to what I already know but have chosen to not practice.  It was really hard to watch the thoughts of shame I was encountering within.   Maya Angela always says, “When you know better, you do better.” and yet, it seems somewhat impossible when I am in it.

A few days later my other friend I support as a Tibetan Doctor was visiting me.  She is very gifted, her name is Dr. Nashalla Nyinda.  She had just finished taking a Tibetan Geomancy refresher class (a fancy kind of Feng Shui that has great power in it) and she spent the week rearranging my house.  First with the bedroom to bring harmony and peaceful sleep.  It was noticeable that night and every night since.  Then the entire downstairs was completely rearranged as it was all not working for me apparently.  The front of the house, the colors, every part of my home had some kind of protection, rearranging, or change.

After she left, I spent a few days painting the kitchen, the laundry room, the bathroom….all a color I never would have chosen.  It’s called Mountain Mist.  It is cooling off all the fire we apparently have in the house.  I feel the groundedness, I feel the peace in it.  Even the curtains I bought are a robin egg blue and has made a difference on grounding the energy for me.

My husband and I entered into couples counseling together last weekend.  The external part of my home is reflecting all the internal changes that have occurred and that are showing how important it is to look at something new.  We have been married 15 years and I am just now learning that he doesn’t think he’s ever been able to meet my needs because he doesn’t exactly know what they are.  I find this fascinating.  Truly.  In investigating it with more and more woman, I am hearing the same message over and over, that men don’t understand what women’s needs are.  Is this true?  I just thought it was a Shakti thing and my husband.  But really, the bottom line is always the same.  Do I matter?  Do you care enough about me to be my witness in life?  Are you willing to connect with me as I walk my path and you walk your path.  There’s so much here to chat about, but I will save it for a separate blog post.

What really fascinates me are the supporters that are showing up in my life right now.  Angela Montano has a program called Rethink Prayer.  She is a living breathing prayer wheel in my opinion.  She is brilliant and has the most tender loving nature.  Her words speak through me in every layer.  My biggest “THING” that I can see that has been getting in my way for self-love is I have lost my “FAITH in LOVE”.  So as I am stepping out more and more on to bigger platforms, I am recognizing that my question of What would someone who loves themselves do, has become “BECAUSE that is what someone who loves them self does!”  And that for me, is claiming love.  I am saying, I am willing to have faith in change.  I am willing to give my fears over to a bigger power and say “I can do this” because that IS what someone who loves them self does.

As I say yes to being “brave and scared” at the same time, as I say yes to “Faith in Love” and as I say yes to “It’s ok for me to be myself”, my life is accelerating and showing up in ways that require me to stay strong, and hold on.  My thoughts of how I handle things are clearly different.

I am embarking in Part 2 of Brene Brown’s e-course of The Gifts of Imperfection and absolutely thrilled to know how far I have come.  I can see as the layers of shame have fallen  away, my ability to accept myself for who I am are expressing more.  I still have extremes going on and I am still quite emotional at times, but this is part of who I am.  I can accept that.    Learning new ways of communicating, learning new tools for cultivating and practicing them are becoming my “normal” way of thinking now.  Such an amazing foundation to share.  I really have many things to share and write, however there is only one brain in my head and the push I am doing to finish a project to share for my one year anniversary is taking much of my time.  I will do my best to post inspiring things for the next few weeks.  🙂  This is an amazing time for me.  Very profound.  I look forward to my one year up date, my offerings I have at that time will be very clear as well.  Or mostly done.  My guides are all telling me it had to be done like “yesterday”….and I just remind them all, I do have small children!  They just smile at me and are patient.

Love, Shakti

 

Heart Sense….Letting Go of the Mind

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“Oh the tangled web we weave within. Grieving that which we can bear no longer. Connected to our truth we untangle what we can, when we can. There is no place for disconnect when we heal ourselves deep within. The only suffering that exists is in the mind that says we are abandoned and alone. We suffer through ignorance and lose our place when we numb ourselves to avoid our truth. What is our truth? The one who denies such truth is our enemy. But our enemies are our teachers. So in truth we suffer only to spare ourselves that which we believe we can not bear.”

February has been a very heart-felt month. Surrendering and humbled, I sit with my tears and feel once again the confusion between grief and suffering.

I once asked a dear friend of mine what she thought the difference between grief and suffering was. Her answer was profound and true. Grief has an end whereas suffering doesn’t. Through the years, I have witnessed this within myself. Almost always when the tears of grief shed, there will always come a place of closure. Even though it may feel uncomfortable, vulnerable, and out of control there will always come a moment where I move through the grief.  I gain myself back and feel a sense of peace and even some inner light. Relief was given where pressure had built up to the point where a release was needed.

Suffering, in my experience always comes from a place of isolation, disconnect and abandonment (to oneself or with others). I often feel it is impossible to reach out to someone when I am crying through disconnect, as the suffering feels so isolating. Belonging and Connection are deeply desired within ourselves that if we don’t have it, we can experience such emotions through disconnect.

The only means that I know of to connect back when I feel I am in the loop of suffering is breathing and prayer. Recognizing that I am suffering is important because if I don’t ask if this is grief, I will cry and cry and cry feeling a deep loss within and without.

When we find ourselves facing difficult and emotional times, look to see if you are grieving or if you have decided to numb out through disconnect. We don’t do it intentionally, it can be out of habit and fear of experiencing our intense emotions. Giving ourselves permission to be human is very much a process of surrendering and acceptance of what is.

“What is” often feels like we are itching to get out of our skin. “What is” often feels like we want to run and hide.  

However, “What is” is simply being present with what is. Acknowledging the emotions, acknowledging our pain or sadness so we can accept it. Acceptance brings truth to where we are in this moment. And in doing so, great healing takes place.

That is a miracle, in my opinion.  

© All rights reserved.  2014

 

Happiness 101

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“When we appreciate the good, the good appreciates.”

Tal Ben-Shahar gives a remarkable presentation on happiness.

Watch Video here.

Do we give ourselves permission to be human?

Do we give others permission to be human?

Do we accept our intense emotions?

Are we lazy?  Are we active?  How do we handle stress?

Do we give ourselves time to replenish?  Do we simplify when the “busyness” gets out of control?

Are we savoring what is in the moment?

Do we meditate?  Do you practice cultivating gratitude?

3 deep breaths….

Real change only comes with action.

Applying ourselves through action.

 

 

This is my life.  The awareness to it all and yet, watching this brought me  a heavy heart.  Knowing and applying are very different concepts.  I am actually applying myself in a lot of areas, but like with anything, once you know better, you want to do better.  There lies the problem.  I know better and yet, I am unable to do better.  Why?  Because I still rely on outside influences to the degree that keep me from the self-care I really need.   With little ones, it’s just impossible to have any kind of flow to my day.  So really it’s about not being attached and going with what shows up.  But my basic needs don’t get met and then I lose ground on the “doing better when I know better”.  

Finding balance with a family is an art and I can see I have lots of learning in this arena.  Today, showing up was enough.  I can accept that.  Baby steps…it’s the best I can do today.  

xoxo,  Shakti

 

 

Creating Life….

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“When you hold on to your history, you do so at the expense of your destiny.”

Bishop T.D. Jakes

I just love this quote. It pretty much sums up what I am doing. When we have spent a lifetime defining ourselves from our story, we limit ourselves. Breaking out of this allows one to unfold and discover just how much energy is freed up for you to create. Create your life. Creative expression comes out in a million different ways for everyone. When you let the history go, you are free to create. Free to be and do anything. You have the passion, the drive and the energy to move in any way you want to. Isn’t that worth its weight in gold? Why would you choose anything else.

I know the ego wants to believe and have justice for whatever it is that you are holding on too. Sometimes, all we can do is take baby steps. But with each baby step you take in creating and expressing yourself as you are right now, without the story, you allow life and its mystery’s to live through you.

This morning I witnessed a lot of emotions wanting to surface. It really did not matter what the story was. The emotions wanted to be released. My mind gets really unsettled when stuff wants to bubble up and out in overwhelming ways. So I made every effort to allow it while creating and expressing. I put on my favorite music and for 3 ½ hours I painted. I allowed myself to be nourished by the music, by the colors and by just being present with what is.

I love watercolors. I love that spring wants to emerge out of me. And I love that I found a way to connect with what comforts me while working out the releases. Nothing bad happened, I found myself feeling the music and creating what needed to be expressed without the story. It was powerful. I am thankful that I was able to have this time to myself.  Here is what I made.

Butterfly 3

 

Part 2: The Power of Courage …..Understanding Vulnerability.

The Power of Vulnerability

Here is her on line course available.  You can watch a sample of the program and she shares some amazing insights.

AND I appreciate any sharing with a friend by posting on Facebook, TWITTER, or Pinterest. I am grateful for your support. xox  This week is very magical with what’s to come.  Many people will benefit from it, so please make an effort to share this.  This will benefit everyone.