“Life does not play tricks on you. Your mind does.”
Only when we know better, do we do better. Does emotional freedom exist? Do you believe that your mind is separate from who you really are? Or do you believe that you are your mind? These are pivotal life changing questions to be asking yourself. If life follows you and your words (and even your thoughts), then perhaps being in the driver’s seat matters.
Where do we begin? Someday’s sitting with your thoughts and your mind becomes toxic in and of itself. We rely on our mind. We believe our thoughts and we often get carried away far too much on a daily basis. How is it then that we unhook our thoughts? Here are a 10 techniques that will help.
1) Investigate…take a look at your thought. Is it true? Is it really really true? How do you know it’s true? Where in your life can you say it’s true and not true. Look, really look to see how it’s not true. Even if it’s one example, because if there’s one, there will be more to follow.
2) Look at the belief. Ask yourself, “Who told me this about myself?” Was it a parent, a teacher, a sibling, society, or yourself? When you see who put that belief in you perhaps it isn’t yours. Let it go.
3) Pema Chodron once said, “Don’t believe everything you think.” Give it a go and see what happens next.
4) Life is our friend. Choose to see it that way. Make the intention that the universe if for you, not against you. And when that happens, you can say yes more. Words/thoughts are powerful and if you choose the negative ones, you get to witness them all day long. What is the positive intention in your suffering? What is the positive intention in your negative thoughts. Ask them and they will answer you.
5) Love what arises. Make friends with all your thoughts. Embrace them with 100% enthusiasm, no matter how sarcastic or sadistic they are. Commit 100% for rejoicing in who that voice is and see what happens next. When you offer love, the outcome has only one way to go.
6) Our external world appears in form. Forms appear as objects that we own or don’t own. We can take them or leave them, but we identify with them outside of ourselves as something that we acquire. Our thoughts are forms as well, but we don’t realize it. We can choose to own them or not. We can choose to leave them behind or not. When we see that our emotional life is no different from the physical life, freedom awaits. Learn to surrender your thoughts. Ego creates your suffering but your spiritual self knows really who you are. Listen to that voice instead.
7) Learn techniques to assist in reprogramming your mind.
Meditation for some, is really helpful in this. There are a variety of different ways of learning. Just start.
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a tapping of meridian points that liberates our well-being in profound ways and works really well.
EMDR is another kind of re patterning of the brain (neural pathways). If you have built-in wiring from childhood traumas, this is a technique that will create a new matrix of thought forms and give emotional freedom.
8) Drop into prayer. Simple prayers are very affective. Here are a few to try out.
Help me loving universe. Help me to surrender my thoughts that I feel out of control with.
Please heal my perspective of ______. Thank you.
Please uplift my spirit and bring joyful expression in my words and thoughts today.
Help me release my sadness or grief or fears today so I may live in divine love and divine grace.
How may I be of service today. Help me help others.
9) Fear knocked at the door, Faith Answered, no one was there. Build up your faith muscles. Start small and go from there. Take windows of your day to practice this. Each mini success you have, it will build on the bigger picture of your life.
10) Begin to allow yourself to have new thoughts. Create an allowing journal. Allow yourself to love. Allow yourself to be gentle and soft with yourself. Allow yourself to ask for help. Allow yourself to allow. Spend 10 minutes in your journal writing all the things you will allow in your life today.
MAKE a Choice today. Do you want to join the “Chain of well- being” or do you want to remain in the “Chain of pain”?
You may think you are the only one suffering when you choose to live in the chain of pain, but it isn’t true. The interdependence follows you. All those around you can be sucked into your world or you can uplift them around you and “entrain” them into your “Chain of well-being” and see how humanity shifts as you make your personal choices. I didn’t say it would be easy, but then again that is another choice, isn’t it?
Whatever comes after the words “I AM”…..follows you. Not only does it follow you but it expands and grows. How do you choose to expand and grow today?
We all live in a world of movement. The seasons cycle, there is birth and death moment to moment. We witness it within ourselves as simple as our breath cycling in and out and as profound as how much we change from birth, through adolescent all the way through old age and finally we come to death…if we live a long life. For others their path may be shorter. Regardless of length, there is a cycle of birth and death.
Nature carries the same cycles within the seasons: spring, summer, fall, winter. In the growing of a plant and flowering and dying. Everywhere we go we see change. And yet, being open to change is one of humans biggest resistance. Why?
With so much information going around with Robin William’s recent death, people are talking. People are looking. Looking for answers, looking for understanding and looking for meaning and comfort in what seems to some a selfish act on his part. Everyone seems to have an opinion. And ultimately who is the opinion benefiting?
Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
Where does one turn to when everyone is looking for the same answers and comfort?
The same grasping.
Some turn to religion, some turn to addiction and some turn to friends, family, social media while others go and search within. What are the answers? Answers to depression. Answers about mental illness. Answers about how someone so funny and so obviously committed to others well-being care so little for themselves or family? Who’s opinions are these? How does it relate to you?
What is it that we are really afraid of? Why are people so rattled? There is death around us all the time. Do you not see it? Our mortality is real and how one dies apparently is becoming the universal point of expansion in our lives.
Change brings both fear of death and fear of the unknown to a pinhead.
I want to share a story here. At least 10 years ago (maybe more), I once went on a retreat on Salt Spring Island (in British Columbia) and the Buddhist nun there was incredible. I told her that I have been to many teachings and read several dharma books and they all say to reflect on death. Some say even 10 x a day. Not to dwell on it but to understand the nature of impermanence. I asked her does this make it happen? As in would we manifest dying because we would be thinking about it so much. She said no. Then she explained that death is a law like gravity. It’s going to happen no matter what. So being afraid of something that happens no matter what isn’t worthy of running from. Rather facing it and understanding it so when the time comes you are at ease with it.
I have learned by reflecting on death it allows us to grasp the quality of its reality. That all things are impermanent. When we train our mind in how to die, we directly influence ourselves on how to live. It brings a profound view of how precious everything is. It brings a deeper gratitude into our beings. It brings joy and love and other precious gifts fuller and deeper into our being. The quality of life expands and opens us up to being more available to what possibilities exist instead of resisting things out of fear. I have found many religions bring so much fear to people. Unless your faith about death is unwavering from a near death experience, most people fear the unknown. I believe this unknown is more of the issue then death itself.
The Buddha says, “Everything is like a bubble. You never know which comes first, tomorrow or the next world.”.
These words are engrained deep inside of me. For I continue to train my mind to know what’s most important. In doing so, when life events happen, I have developed resilience to what I see and fear. My faith in the unseen is protecting me. My faith in myself is stronger and I will be a person others can lean into for support during tough times. Without this foundation, my mind will blow like the wind and have nothing to cling on to. It will pass through all the stories not knowing which one to grasp and cling to for dear life.
Robin Williams really has given us many many gifts if you want to know. The most important one I believe is the gift of just how precious human life is. What more do you want? What more can you say? Ultimately it is our own path to walk alone on and it is our passion for living that will touch others. It is with this hope that we may reach out to one another in humanity and lean on each other and bless each other with the grace of love.
Miracles and More is a place where becoming yourself is not only honored but it is celebrated. A place for creating daily practices moving deeper into Self-love. A place where someone who loves themselves wholeheartedly knows how to leaninto joy and feel it all.
This year has been a miracle unto its self. I am fascinated that asking one question for a year would produce such powerful results. I feel like I have been waiting 20 years for this to happen and in asking “What would someone who loves themselves do?” accelerated my life in helping me gain the growth and results to become who I always believed I was meant to be. I am in awe of it actually. Humbled by the beauty and the whispers that come to me regularly.
I will be moving this blog over to the new website over the next few months. I am still working out the details on what moving it all means. I still have several weeks to get all the details smoothed out, but for now you can visit and join the Miracles and More community.
“It’s never too late to become who you were meant to be.”
Isn’t this what started it all? Isn’t this where I was heading, without even knowing it? Well, actually it was, “What is self-love?”. But then it became about “It’s never too late to become who you were meant to be.” Becoming authentic, doing what someone who loves themselves does, that is learning how to be yourself. In a world of “What do other people think?”, this is not the path of least resistance. In a world of idealism, a world of conforming, in a world of what others do and think and believe, sitting in the circle of “being yourself” feels like the lion is going to eat you up.
Fortunately, having asked myself “What would someone who loves themselves do?” for a year is one way to strengthen that inner demon of “What will other’s think.” In fact, asking that question set me up to actually do between 6,000-10,000 loving acts towards myself in one year. How many of you can think of 1 or 2 acts of loving things you did today, never mind over a year.
This question instills a habit, a very intense habit. And this is necessary because to change a habit, you must make changes that allow for the possibility of changes to be made. One can not be timid to look destiny in the eye. One must find strength and the only way to find strength is through taking action repetitively. Repetition is the only way we will make the changes necessary for “Real Change” to be formed in a short amount of time. If you want to learn a foreign language, then you must practice it. Self-love for so many of us, IS a foreign language. Therefore, practicing, is a must. And how does one do that?
By starting, and then following the path it takes you. Your path will look different from mine. Every individual on the planet will have a different path, but it will always lead us to the same place… Wholehearted living.
What is really amazing to me is that it really is never too late to become yourself. Even if it’s the last breath you take, if you take that breath knowing exactly who you are and how to be yourself….then you are home. You get the golden prize. To me that is a miracle to celebrate.
Enjoy my video. 10 min to capture a year doesn’t do it justice, but it gives the highlights and it definitely reveals what is coming next. So make sure you watch it through to the end. I don’t want you to miss out on what’s coming around the corner. June 1st is the day I am going live with it. Let’s cross fingers it’s ready. 🙂
“Because THAT is what someone who loves themself does!”
The last month for me has had so many things I wanted to share, but everything is accelerating for me that I have literally not had any time to share! It has been a bit frustrating, but I am here now. Currently, I feel as if my life is undergoing a major transformation. I feel these large invisible hands living outside my home and rearranging everything so my life works the way I am asking for it.
We are currently at the tail end of spring break (my son has 2 weeks in April off) so that has also made my time limited here.
To sum up the last few weeks….
As I walked into some really big purposes that you will find out shortly, I have never felt so complete and deeply purposeful. AT the same time, my personal life definitely felt like my soul was dying, and then I launched my artist website the day after. The night of a very emotional morning, we had a visiting Tibetan Doctor (Paltul Rinpoche) and I was in the hot seat for my time with him. I would not call it a “lecture” but it was. He reminded me how loving kindness is the most important thing. He reminded me about patience, tolerance and having my mind in check when it comes to my anger. It was not easy to listen to what I already know but have chosen to not practice. It was really hard to watch the thoughts of shame I was encountering within. Maya Angela always says, “When you know better, you do better.” and yet, it seems somewhat impossible when I am in it.
A few days later my other friend I support as a Tibetan Doctor was visiting me. She is very gifted, her name is Dr. Nashalla Nyinda. She had just finished taking a Tibetan Geomancy refresher class (a fancy kind of Feng Shui that has great power in it) and she spent the week rearranging my house. First with the bedroom to bring harmony and peaceful sleep. It was noticeable that night and every night since. Then the entire downstairs was completely rearranged as it was all not working for me apparently. The front of the house, the colors, every part of my home had some kind of protection, rearranging, or change.
After she left, I spent a few days painting the kitchen, the laundry room, the bathroom….all a color I never would have chosen. It’s called Mountain Mist. It is cooling off all the fire we apparently have in the house. I feel the groundedness, I feel the peace in it. Even the curtains I bought are a robin egg blue and has made a difference on grounding the energy for me.
My husband and I entered into couples counseling together last weekend. The external part of my home is reflecting all the internal changes that have occurred and that are showing how important it is to look at something new. We have been married 15 years and I am just now learning that he doesn’t think he’s ever been able to meet my needs because he doesn’t exactly know what they are. I find this fascinating. Truly. In investigating it with more and more woman, I am hearing the same message over and over, that men don’t understand what women’s needs are. Is this true? I just thought it was a Shakti thing and my husband. But really, the bottom line is always the same. Do I matter? Do you care enough about me to be my witness in life? Are you willing to connect with me as I walk my path and you walk your path. There’s so much here to chat about, but I will save it for a separate blog post.
What really fascinates me are the supporters that are showing up in my life right now. Angela Montano has a program called Rethink Prayer. She is a living breathing prayer wheel in my opinion. She is brilliant and has the most tender loving nature. Her words speak through me in every layer. My biggest “THING” that I can see that has been getting in my way for self-love is I have lost my “FAITH in LOVE”. So as I am stepping out more and more on to bigger platforms, I am recognizing that my question of What would someone who loves themselves do, has become “BECAUSE that is what someone who loves them self does!” And that for me, is claiming love. I am saying, I am willing to have faith in change. I am willing to give my fears over to a bigger power and say “I can do this” because that IS what someone who loves them self does.
As I say yes to being “brave and scared” at the same time, as I say yes to “Faith in Love” and as I say yes to “It’s ok for me to be myself”, my life is accelerating and showing up in ways that require me to stay strong, and hold on. My thoughts of how I handle things are clearly different.
I am embarking in Part 2 of Brene Brown’s e-course of The Gifts of Imperfection and absolutely thrilled to know how far I have come. I can see as the layers of shame have fallen away, my ability to accept myself for who I am are expressing more. I still have extremes going on and I am still quite emotional at times, but this is part of who I am. I can accept that. Learning new ways of communicating, learning new tools for cultivating and practicing them are becoming my “normal” way of thinking now. Such an amazing foundation to share. I really have many things to share and write, however there is only one brain in my head and the push I am doing to finish a project to share for my one year anniversary is taking much of my time. I will do my best to post inspiring things for the next few weeks. 🙂 This is an amazing time for me. Very profound. I look forward to my one year up date, my offerings I have at that time will be very clear as well. Or mostly done. My guides are all telling me it had to be done like “yesterday”….and I just remind them all, I do have small children! They just smile at me and are patient.
“Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.”
Since she has written this a couple of weeks ago, she has had over 4,000,000 views and hundreds of thousands of stories from people sharing their story. Take a moment and read this. Many of us are carrying some aspect of perfectionism and how it spills into our daily lives. Especially how it affects our children. I am very grateful for Rachel’s gifts. Both as a writer and as a mom that can openly share what we are all embarrassed or ashamed of. Brene Brown has been helping me so much with shame. I feel the steps are being made for the change I must make to live a wholehearted life.
If this story impacts you as it has for so many, Brene Brown is teaching her on line course again starting Jan. 12 with Oprah. There was such a demand for it, that she is repeating it and then continuing on with Part 2 in March.
Thank you for taking time out to read this story. I would copy and paste it here, but I don’t think that is politically correct. So all I can do is post the link.