Tag Archive | moving forward

Cultivating Love – 8 steps for creating Magic


This is exactly what humanity needs right now. We need lots of people inspiring others. We share our stories to help others lift up. This is good, but sometimes the people falling, or those that are stuck need more than a lift. They need more than a story. They need a rope. Sometimes a really long rope. They feel helpless, hopeless, lost or really stuck. Telling someone “to practice gratitude will change your life” isn’t everyones fix. Sometimes those that are stuck need help getting to a place just to allow gratitude before they can experience it.

I was one of those people. Suffering feels so isolating at times that seeing the forest through the trees doesn’t happen. Being stuck sucks. I read that today on someones blog title and said, “Yup, I’ve been there.” Being stuck does suck because it isn’t clear how to get unstuck. There were years where I would say “Why do these things just keep happening to me.” “Why can’t I find a job?, Why can’t I have a healthy relationship? Why don’t I have any money? Why do people treat me so poorly? Why am I a people pleaser? Why don’t people listen to me? Why am I misunderstood all the time?” There are many factors that create stuckness. There are so many interdependency factors involved, but to keep things simple, let’s see one at a time. You might feel stuck in a job you hate, stuck in a relationship that isn’t going anywhere, stuck in a family that doesn’t nurture you, stuck in a life that feels like a prison, stuck in a city that doesn’t support you or maybe you are stuck with no money and can’t find work.

It may feel like quicksand consuming you. It can feel paralyzing, or it can feel debilitating. Whatever has made you so stuck, it’s time to free yourself. You get to be the master in your life now and choose to look for a new way of doing something. You get to be the conductor. It’s time to create movement from inertia keeping you bound and tied down. Remaining stuck “IS NO LONGER AN OPTION!” What would someone who loves themselves do? They would care. They would take action. They embrace themselves.  They are willing to risk being vulnerable.

Here are 8 steps to create magic and to get unstuck.

1)  Acknowledge you are stuck.   It IS the key to getting unstuck.  Seriously, say outloud “I am stuck”  OWN your stuckness.  Do it with style.  Do it with laughter.  Do it with pizzazz.  I don’t care how you do it….but do it!

2) Write an allowing journal. Allow yourself to get unstuck. Allow yourself movement. Allow the feelings to be ok. Allow yourself to fee what you are avoiding. Allow good in your life. Allow freedom in your life. Allow joy and happiness. Allow a life worth living. Allow forgiveness. Allow inner peace. Allow yourself to make changes and most importantly allow yourself love.

3) See yourself as a big person, not a victim. Empower yourself. You are conducting your life now. You are only here because of a thought you believed about yourself. You are now allowing yourself to have new thoughts. You are now making new choices. Do NOT believe everything you think. This becomes a trap. You are here with millions of people that have been in your shoes or similar shoes. There is room for everyone to make new and different choices to become unstuck. This is another important step. Ask your adult self for help. Ask your higher self for help. Ask the universe for help. Ask God for help. Ask spirit for help. Say I am ready for change.

4) Cultivate Love. You are creating a garden (your garden). You need seeds. What seeds do you want to plant? Seeds of love, joy, happiness, generosity, patience, etc… You need space to grow it. You need water, fertilizer, sunshine, patience, etc… Now one of the most important thing all gardens need is to pull the weeds that grow. It is essential for the healthy plants to not be suffocated by weeds. Our thoughts are no different. Pulling the weeds of self doubt, not being good enough, not deserving, all the negative self talk will smother any healthy growth and we will be unable to see progress. We want the seeds of possibilities to flourish and grow. I want you to be your own witness to this miracle. It will happen. It is the joy of gardening. To harvest our food we grow. To enjoy the beauty of the flowers we grow. Love is the same. We want to cultivate it (hold it precious to ourselves) so we can allow it to rise up within and touch the lives of those around us…including ourselves.

5) Make a vision board and set an intention. Another KEY piece here. Your intention is your seed. Your intention creates your new changes to come. Making a vision board helps visually see it so you can “feel how good it will feel” when it comes. Feeling is half the equation here. Have a stack of magazines. Think of an intention, and then cut away. Don’t think about what you are cutting, just cut words, pictures, photos and set them aside. Then on a big piece of paper glue them together in a way that your intuition guides you. You can even put a date on it. Sign it with your signature. The universe wants to know it’s yours. Put a dab of saliva on it….this is your DNA signature.

6) Believe in yourself. What positive things can your write down about yourself? Write down 10 things that are positive. Do it! (I can see you coming up with excuses already).

7) Make a list of 100 things you want. (Is it a job, a career, a home, a lover, a friend, a car, a horse, a dog…) Whatever it is you need/want make this list. Don’t skimp on details. The universe does fabulous with details. The more the better and the clearer you get. If you are doing this with a husband, a partner, etc…it brings clarity for both of you to get on the same page and understand each other. Now, make a list of 50 things you have to offer. This is an incredible exercise to do.

8) Sit back and watch the miracle happen in your life. Watch the magic. You just created the remedy to get unstuck. I dare you to try it. It is impossible to fail. It is a very powerful method. DO NOT SKIP ANY STEPS….(If you do, I will know….hee hee)

Your life matters. Go give it meaning and purpose, so others will recieve your gifts you have to offer. You have everything for humanity to thrive. It’s all inside you when you cultivate love. You never know who’s life will be touched by your story. It may just be the rope to help pull someone out of their suffering. Humanity needs all of us to show up. Hands held out across the world.

With deepest gratitude, I wish you everything you desire to get unstuck. I believe in you. You have everything you need to create your own magic.

Please help others.  Share this link on Facebook, twitter, email it to friends.  I know what it’s like to be really stuck.  I have found a formula to get unstuck.  If you really want to help someone who’s ready to make changes, share this link.  Thank you.  I have nothing to gain here, it’s just my aspiration to help people.



Copyright © June 2013  All Rights Reserved.

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Regret….A Channel of Destruction


Feeling the sting of regret with my actions toward my son this past weekend, has lead me to writing this post.  It’s a reminder that we have choices at any given moment.  My moment of taking out my anger on my son from my interaction with my husband (who was feeling the smothering from our son earlier) created this pivotal moment.  There’s always a reaction when collision of energies come together.  Was I at my best?  Not even close.  I regret what I said and yet, was it strong enough for me to make it better?  When I ask, “what would someone who loves themselves do?” I hear “BE NICE.”  But being nice, would mean I need to be connected.  I need to recognize that  we were all living in a moment of disconnect.  Seeing THAT view, allowed me to move through it with a little more grace.  I talked myself through many thoughts and eventually could see that I was bitten by my own venom of regret.

What is regret?

Regret  is one of those experiences in life that we feel heaviness and shame from. According to the dictionary “It is a negative conscious and emotional reaction to personal past acts and behaviors. Regret is often expressed by the term “sorry.” Regret is often a feeling of sadness, shame, embarrassment, depression, annoyance, or guilt, after one acts in a manner and later wishes not to have done so.”

Regret is distinct from guilt, which is a deeply emotional form of regret — one which may be difficult to comprehend in an objective or conceptual way. In this regard, the concept of regret is subordinate to guilt in terms of its emotional intensity. By comparison, shame typically refers to the social (rather than personal) aspect of guilt or (in minor context) regret as imposed by the society or culture (enforcement of ethics, morality), which has substantial bearing in matters of (personal and social) honor.

It is also distinct from remorse, which is a more direct and emotional form of regret over a past action that is considered by society to be hurtful, shameful, or violent. Unlike regret, it includes a strong element of desire for apology to others rather than an internal reflection on one’s actions, and may be expressed (sincerely or not) in order to reduce the punishment one receives.

Regret can describe not only the dislike for an action that has been committed, but also, importantly, regret of inaction. Many people find themselves wishing that they had done something in a past situation.”

Guilt – Shame – Regret – Remorse

Do you believe you can learn from these experiences? Do you believe you have to carry them like a life sentence?  Do you hide in shame about your choices you have made?  When do we break free?

What would Someone Who LOVES themselves do?  

This is an opportunity for healing.  This is an opportunity to not let the past hold you prisoner.  This is when you say, I am ready for change.  I allow my past to not be my future.  But HOW do we do it?  How do we set ourselves free?  I can explain some things here, but Teal Scott’s videos say it by far more clear and accessible to new tools.

The most important thing to understand about these feelings is they are based on your past awarenesses.  You can only use what you know.  If 20 years pass and you have grown, you can see that who you are now and the lessons you know now, were not available to you 20 years ago. Holding on to something because you didn’t have the tools you have now makes no sense at all.  There is healing that can happen here.  Truly believe it.

This can apply to any aspect of the above.  Regret is just a smaller venom to the bigger guilts in your life.  We have choices moment to moment.  And in every moment, there is an opportunity to change your view.  It only takes one moment to have a new awareness.  One that makes us never go back.  Each moment is a gift.  Each moment there is renewed spirit within us to heal, to grow and expand and let go of our past.  Past actions included.  This could be minutes ago or years ago.  It’s all about learning the steps to do so.  Please take some time to watch these videos.  The second one is the one that really helped me transform some past hurts.  I believe that if you take the time to say I’m worth it, you will find new meaning in your life.  This moment will forever change you.  As Nike says….”JUST DO IT!”   I’m counting on you to make the right choice.  🙂

Understanding Guilt (Part 1)

How to Let go Guilt (Part 2)

An Eye for an I………It’s all in the mind. Part 2


Are you currently living with physical pain?  Do you suffer from chronic pain?  Have you ever asked “What the positive intention is” of your physical pain?

If you have’t, get out some paper right now and begin asking.  You will find that your pain is serving you in some manner.  And it’s always coming from a positive intention.  You may be surprised by the answers.

Living with pain is very common in our culture.  The pharmaceutical companies promote it, our society believes it and further more we accept it.

“Don’t believe what everyone thinks”!

Take charge of your life.  What would someone who loves themselves do?   Do NOT identify yourself with the pain.  You can live a joyful life separate from the physical pain.  Learn to become detached from it.  Be the observer.  Letting it consume you will only cause more.  In fact, all the negative feelings that come with “what’s wrong with me?” creates a downward spiral.   You may even ask if the quality of your  life is worth living.

When I was 21 years old, I was planning on graduating from college.  I suspect the thoughts of moving forward into the unkown life was part of the karmic moment.  Or perhaps it was the all pervasive suffering that I only knew.  I had just ended a relationship (an unhealthy one to boot) with a guy on Valentine’s day (to make it mean something I’m sure) and I ended up in a car accident that night.  I didn’t want to go home because he was not letting me go so easily.  I ended up  skidding on black ice and spinning my car across the windy roads of New Hampshire, and I hit the guard rail.  It’s too bad I didn’t have a seat belt on.  I think it would have prevented many problems.

I ended up with a stress fracture on my tail bone (along with a concussion).  I had a very long recovery.  I had to say good bye to my love for dance, my love for ice skating, my love for the active healthy lifestyle I enjoyed.  This was a turning point in my life, one that I have never accepted.  However it was one that gave me a profound lesson in life.

It was a long 2 years.  I went down a very deep hole.  I lived with chronic back pain.  I was taking 16 advil a day for a year.  Sitting was very painful, especially since I was finishing up my college classes to graduate.

I started swim therapy about 6 months down the road.  After a year, I visited a psychiatrist to perscribe small doses of anti depressents to act as pain killers (so he said).  After that year, I began getting sciatica pain daily making it much harder to believe I’d get better.  I went and visited a chiropractor for the first time in my life.  He did some weird bone cracking back thing that killed.  And then the words, “Oh crap, that wasn’t supposed to have happened came out of his mouth”, leaving me with yet again, another length of chronic pain.

What came to my mind all the time was “What’s wrong with me?”  I spent months going to different therapies, of which none helped.  I began to have a lot of negative thoughts and I continued to get weaker and weaker.  I now had been using a cane and my left leg was so weak I couldn’t walk on it.

At about 1 1/2 years later, I finally went to the Layhee clinic in Boston for a myelogram.  This is a procedure where they inject a dye in your spine and see the contrast if there’s anything going on.  I was scared and had a dream the night before of what the room and the contraption they put you in looked like.  Of course the next day when I went to the clinic, the room was the same as it appeared in my dream.  I must have traveled out of body.

I finally had a visit with the doctor.  He had the worst bed side manners I had ever known.  However, I will never forget what he said.  He told me, “There’s nothing wrong with you.  It’s all in your head.”   Ordinarily, I would have been furious with that kind of comment, but  it was exactly what I needed.  Shocked by his words, I decided in that moment if that was the truth, I would get well.

And from that moment on I healed.  It took time to build my strength back but by the time I was 23, I was pain free.  It took about 6 months.  I never went back to the life I had and I grieve that to this day.  But I learned a valuable lesson about the power of the mind.

It’s a choice we have.  What we choose, what we commit to 100% ALL IN, is what we create.

4 years later, I had another car accident.  It wasn’t as dramatic, but I still was injured and needed medical help.  The thing was, if felt like dejavu.  However, I made different choices.  I chose alternative doctors to heal.  For all of it.  I recovered in 8 months.  Never for a moment did I question it.  This one affected my neck mostly and I had a lot of “pain in my neck”.  A strong message as a metaphor for sure.  Walking to yoga one day, I realized I was not my body and didn’t need to attach myself to that pain.  It was such an epiphany.

We get to choose.  What is the positive intention for our pain? (I repeat this, so you really get it)  Why have you chosen pain?

Spontaneous healing occurs the minute you make this choice.  The decision to take 100% responsibility and own it.  Transforms EVERYTHING.  You are not your pain.  Your choices about what you believe have created the pain.

How do you want to live?  Have you had enough?  Do you need to hear “It’s all in your head, there’s nothing wrong with you?” or Can you find your answers within yourself?

It’s time to free yourself.  Your cells in your body change every 7 days.  You continuosly change.  Nothing is permanent accept impermanence.  Your habits perpetuate what you think you are.

What do you want to become?  Magic is the illusion of what is real and not real.  Make your own miracle today.  Make a choice and commit to it 100%.  It will change your life forever.

This is your turning point, step out and claim it.